Ignorance, they say, intoxicates worse than hard liquor. Today, I saw a vivid evidence of that when I read as some men reacted to my earlier post, ferociously arguing that they would prefer customary law marriage because it gives a husband advantage over the wife in the event of a break-up of the marriage. Any man thinking that customary law marriage is therefore in his best interest may actually be foolish and misguided. Customary law marriage is not in the interest of anybody. It merely creates confusion and punishes the innocent unduly. Why do I say this?
Yes, if the entire world is just between you and your wife, and if the only thing you have to worry about is the possibility of a breakdown of your marriage, then maybe you are right - the man should go for customary law marriage. But the truth is more complicated than that. First, there are more people to worry about than your wife. And there are other things in your life to worry about than a divorce.
What if you die? Have you considered how the customary law will apply? Oh yes, you will die one day, even though you have conveniently forgotten it will happen. If your marriage is governed by customary law and you die, maybe without a will, what do your think will happen? If you know what will happen, you will rush now and register your marriage in the court before your wife comes home from work.
Of course, your kinsmen will take your property and leave your children out of school. That means that even though you left money and property when you died, your children will not go to school because your brother has used the money to marry another wife or to get a chieftaincy title or to run unsuccessfully for a political office. And now, your son will end up selling pure water in the streets on Monday morning, just to survive.
Always remember that in your absence, the best person to entrust the wellbeing of your children to is their mother. So, how wise are you when you use the customary law to cripple the mother of your children and leave the poor woman fighting with your brothers over your property. Indeed, the customary law you had planned to give you an advantage over your wife may end up giving your brothers advantages over your widow and your children. How do you feel in your grave knowing that your unemployed cousin is now sleeping with your widow because he is the one that helps her fight your brothers under the customary law you left them with?
Ignorance intoxicates worse than ogogoro. Mr. Man, you better make sure your marriage is registered with the court before it is too late, will you stop thinking of divorce which may never happen, and rather worry about your death, which will surely happen.
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