Tell me why. You are a man. You're healthy. Yet you refuse to have sex with your wife. You move into a separate bedroom. You even begin to lock your special bedroom so she can't try to come to your bed. And when she comes, you give excuses, from headache to tiredness, to stress, and fake religious excuses such as that you are fasting and staying away from sex so that you will experience deliverance, etc. You know these excuses are false. If avoiding your wife was how to attain spirituality, why did you take her to the alter for divine blessings? And the truth you have been hiding is that you have 2 to 5 girlfriends, whom you have not been avoiding.
Many women in various abusive marriages have confided in me about the sexual dimension to the abuses they suffer in their marriages - from total deprivation of sex to violent rape by their husbands. One lady recently informed me that for 10 good years, her husband has refused to have sex with her and she has not had sex since then. One told me of how she might not want to have sex because she has migraine and instead of her husband excusing her for that night alone, he would threaten to go and sleep with a prostitute. And out of the fear that he would get some disease and infect him, she would submit to sex. Her migraine would then take a weak instead of two days to heal.
So tell me why. In all cases where the husband persistently refuses to have sexual intimacies with his wife, evidence shows the man has multiple relationships outside. I know there must be cases of women who deny their husbands sex, but the fact that the man is free to obtain sex from alternative sources has been able to control women from unreasonably denying their men sex. Indeed, married women rarely deny their men sex for fear of giving them the excuse to take a second wife or have girlfriends. Rarely do married women do it to their husbands. There could be even economic consequences for the wife that does it. If the man is offended, he can do a number of things a wife deprived of sex cannot do. The husband can simply take it by force. He could refuse to bring money for feeding. He can refuse to pay the children's school fees. So let's not worry about wives denying their husbands sex.
When a husband denies his wife sex, she faces real hardship. The fact that the man has all the powers and money makes the sense of rejection so bad for the woman. Also, the denial or rejection may be associated with some changes in the woman that affects her sex appeal such as pregnancy or simply that she has gained weight. So, the woman feels frustrated because she perceives that the denial of sex is not because somebody is upset with her, but that she is generally no longer attractive. She sees it as a permanent condition.
Even if the woman considers herself attractive enough, she is still stuck. If she tries to access alternative sources of love and romance, the system punishes her. She may be taken to the shrine to swear an oath of fidelity. These ungodly practices operate to keep women in check like they are cage animals. That is unfair, unjust, unconstitutional and unacceptable.
If you deny your wife sex on three consecutive times that she wanted it, and you have no legitimate reason to do so, your wife should feel free to explore alternative sources of pleasure. If she is liberal enough and informed enough, she can start with dildos and other toys. Otherwise she should go straight to a full relationship with other accessible men in a safe and measured manner.
The point I am making is this. If you deny sex to your wife, she is free from her vows to you. It is no longer wrong for her to have sex with other men. By denying her sex, you cannot be allowed to complain. Most injustices and abuse of women happen because the man knows the woman would still be there. Once he realizes that the woman is, like him, free to access alternative sources of pleasure, he will sit up.
And those of you who naively assumed that women don't like sex, or that it is only men that like sex or that only men need to be satisfied during sexual intercourse, you have to rethink. Women also need sex. They love sex. They need to be satisfied during intercourse. And it is your duty to satisfy your wife. Don't even think of any excuses. Stay there until she is satisfied. Do everything to make sure she is satisfied. Don't get out of that bed until your wife is satisfied. Don't think that if you gave her money, that would be enough. So those who deny their wives sex are responsible for the most unfortunate types of abuses. They are responsible for their wives leaving them. I did not have a second thought in encouraging a woman today to leave her husband when I realized he denied her sex for 2 years. She will soon divorce him. And she will soon start living again and enjoying sex again, in a healthy and safe manner.
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